The Slight Silver Lining

So things have been looking up a bit lately. I mean, the feeling is nowhere near what it used to be of freedom and happiness in the summer but at least it doesn't feel so depressing now.
I've been spending the majority of my days worrying about college (which I promised myself I wouldn't do by the way) and sitting around trying to figure out something fun to do.
I feel a weird constant fear of and excitement for college. I will be happy to get a fresh start and get out of this funk I'm in. But I'm also worried that I will never get a boyfriend and that I will flunk all my math and science classes. So basically I'm anxious to see what it will be, but I feel guilty for this anticipation.
I feel guilty because this is the summer after my senior year and I should be spending every minute laughing and living it up instead of spending my days smoking a growing number of ciggarettes and wrapping my brain around the way everything is changing.
Well as for an update on the last couple of weeks, here goes.
I went to Katie's party last saturday night and it was kick ass. It was a pretty good size party, about 30 people, a keg, and 90 cans of beer in a trash can full of ice, and I knew almost everyone so the night really was sweet. Plus this kid who was super drunk out of his mind kept hitting on me and kissing my neck and rubbing my leg. I realize that this kid would have been doing these things to anything that could walk due to the drunken stupor he was in, but no matter the amount of alcohol involved it's still flattering when someone calls you gorgeous. Especially since I very very rarely get hit on.
So that was fun.
Lets see...I made an o.k. amount of money at my open house, about $250 which I am using to buy my ticket for Bliss and stock my dorm.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by the idea of everything I still ahve to get for school. I don't ahve any of my books and I keep procrastianting all the paperwork I need to file for financial aid. blaahhh.
So tonight was chill, I hung out over at Kristi's for a while with Melissa and Renee. We went for a walk and stumbled upon some really pretty trails where Renee proceded to get pooped on by a bird. Which made us all laugh hysterically. We then returned here to watch some Mystery Science Theater 3000 and now here I am. It's probably good that I'm gonna get to bed early tonight because tomorrow I'm going to see Against Me play in Lansing plus there are rumors of a kegger happening somewhere so that may play into it. So I'm off to bed to rest up for what is hopefully a full day tomorrow because I am so over sitting around all day not doing shit.