The Great Thing About College!

Ahh college life. When your pockets are as empty as your liqour cabinet and your brain feels like someone sucked the intelligence out of it with a dirt devil. There are so many...ahem...wonderful things about living this new life of cramped space and overflowing homework. So many in fact I just wanted to make a quick post about it! Inspired by recent events.

Exhibit A) The great thing about college food is that you regret it almost immediatley after comsumption! Sick of all those pesky feelings of contentment after your meal? Then head off to college and try the many contributors of the freshman 15. High in both calories and fat, but low in taste, these food-like products will have you swearing off food in no time! From the pasta-ish spaghetti, to the sort-of-like meat fried chicken, nothing here tastes anything like food!

Exhibit B) But that's not all! You also get to experience residence life! The great thing about dorms is the abundance of noise that is seemingly pointless, and relentless! Whether it's waking up for your 9 a.m. lecture to an incesent amount of screamo, or trying to get some sleep at three a.m. only to be bombarded by screaming and really weird thumping noises, rest is a thing of the past! That's right ladies and gentleman, never worry abot sleeping through the night, ever again!

Exhibit C) And we saved the best for last people, the best thing about college, the complete everything or nothing approach! The idea behind this is for professors to create their sylabuses in such a wonderful manner that for a whole week you'll be bored beyond belief from lack of things to do, and the next day, without notice, you'll have 70,000 pages of reading to do! On top of this, you will gain a feeling of fatigue that never seems to wear off and kind of makes you want to punch a cute baby animal in the jaw!

So sign up today, ladies and gentleman, come experience the collegiate world for yourself! It's just like the movies! Except completely different!