This week is really not going my way. I am beyond frustrated. I had the worst night ever at work last night. When I try to tell other people about it they brush it off and say something like oh it’s no big deal you’re still learning. But I feel terrible about it. It’s weighing really heavily on my mind and I feel weirdly awful. Basically I feel like fucking shit. I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m missing out on my own life. I hate the feeling of having to wake up everyday and follow so many goddamn rules and listen to everything everyone says. I don’t want to be rich I don’t care if I drive a fucking BMW I don’t give a shit if I live in a big house. All I want is enough money to survive on and live my life. Actually fucking live it without any expectations or timelines or obligations. I just want an escape I feel so gddamn trapped like I’m screaming in a crowded room and everyone hears it and says don’t worry it’s fine it’s just life it’s hard and boring but you do what you have to. Well fuck that I don’t want any of this shit I want my own life my own expectations my own rules. I just want to not feel like shit I want to not be afraid I want to not be unhappy and bored and FUCK.
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