I talked to my mom about it for hours and it's hard to explain exactly how, but she made it sound so logical for me to stay in Lansing and go to LCC. This added to the ever-present stress that has been steadily building in the back of my mind caused me to just break, in a way.
It was more like I was just so confused on what to do with my life it felt like my brain was melting. However, after a few hours of dazed thoughts and cogs clicking in my brain and meditation, I had an epiphany. I have decided that I have to go.
I have to know what it's like and I have to prove to myself that I can do it. It's like, I was thinking that I was so scared of it that I needed to dive in headfirst in order to conquer that fear. Now I honestly and truly believe that I will be happy there and that it will be scary and intimidating but it will also make me stronger and help me find who I truly am.
I have to know that i can do this, and do this on my own specifically.
Worst comes to worst I will spend a year there and decide it's not for me.
Now, this whole thing may just seem like another indecisive teenager not being able to make up my mind but it's something more than that. It's hard to explain but something just clicked. I no longer feel terrified and like I'm going to fail, I'm just happy.
I no longer feel like I'm drowning. Halle-fricken-lujah!
don't stress so much about leaving for school. i know it's stressful and scary, but everything will work out for the best, i promise :)
ReplyDeletewhen i left home for school last summer it had to be the scariest thing i've ever done. i left my family, my friends, and my boyfriend. i cried so much the night before i left, but by the time i got to school it was weird i was all cried out. everyone you meet will be going through the same thing you are.
hope this helps!
p.s. those are the most adorable shoes :)
Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI'm so worried about leaving everyone I know and it's really good to hear someone survived!
It's weird to me that you're mom is pushing LCC so much. Going to Central will give you such good memories and a really good education right away.
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