Life's Been Good to Me So Far

I have little to none to worry my head over right now.

Sure, right now I should be studying for my LCC exam, but I'm pretty much set on using my fool proof strategy: winging it.

This morning I had an apple pie flavored bagel and a hot cup of coffee. Plus right now I'm listening to a tasty mix of Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. This week has started out b-e-a-utifuly.

In a mere two days, though some may say it's really three but I don't count today, I will be in the car with my best friends travelling south at lightning speeds. Toward beaches, extreme games of hide-n-seek, and long warm nights under the Florida stars.

I have a new leather journal with an owl imprint gracing the cover, strictly for adventurers.

I also have a new book, a new pair of shorts, and about twenty pairs of sunglasses. (I have a thing for sunglasses and fedoras.)

So by this time Friday I'll be squashed into the backseat of an SUV among the pringles and suitcases, on the way to sunshine, sand, and sleeping in.

Shake it up

Hit shuffle on your ipod. What does it bring up?

Is it something popular, like Rihanna?

Is it something classic, like Sinatra?

Or is it someting unique, like Man Man?

The point being that music can have a say in who you are, how you see yourself, how you feel in that exact second.

Today I've been listening to Alkaline Trio. They make me think of Chicago, make me feel like I should be out causing trouble and smoking ciggarettes.

I've also been listening to Bob Dylan. He makes me think of tattoos and Johnny Cash and skipping school.

I love my ipod. I may be getting a little tired of the same few artists but there are those that will never get old.

For my entire life I have had kind of a thing for music that's of the strange variety. Stuff that's off the charts and under the radar that takes a few listens to like.

The bands that wear mismatched suits and write about things like cats in cars and the moon being made from cheese.

Yep, that's my jam.

Livin the dream

I have so many many things I want to do with my life. Sure, my near future goal is to go to college in Mt. Pleasant, but beyond that my expectations stretch for miles.

I have many dream lives.

My dream lives are probably pretty similar to many people's dream lives and that's fine, because they're still allllll mine.

My first dream life is to live in San Diego, California. My dad has lived literally all over the country, he lived in almost all 50 states before he even turned 30, and of all the places he lived San Diego was his favorite. I've heard os many stories from him about the surfing, the music, and the people of California that I can't help but to want to live there. For my dream life in the Sunsine State I want an apartment near the beach and the boardwalk and a sweet pair of rollerblades to skate said boardwalk everyday. The job for my California dream life would be a freelance writer who isn't broke. I would hang out at the beach all day writing and then meet up with friends for surfing, and at night we would circle around roaring bonfires on the shore.

Then there's my New York/ Chicago dream life.

I love Chicago as a city. I've been there about five times and I love the vibe of everything. I love the people, the food, and the culture. I haven't been to the big apple yet. However, I do have plans to venture there this coming summer.

For my city dream life I would have a hip office job designing and writing for a creative magazine. One of those offices where it's super chilled out and everyone is friends with everyone. I would have a loft apartment with a gorgeous view of the skyline. This apartment would have to be close to Central Park, or Millenium Park for Chi-town. This dream life could also include a cute, indy vibed boyfriend. Said boyfriend could take me out for sweet vegetarian food and punk rock shows orrrr he could just stay in with me and watch Quentin Tarantino movies while eating take out chinese!

So these are just two of my many various alternate realitys. I have others, they range from Seattle to South Carolina. But for now I guess I'll just focus on next year instead of the next decade. :]

Mad World. Literally.

I'm pissed. I am literally stuck in a permanent pissed off state of mind.
It's not because of any ONE thing. It's jsut a bunch of stuff that I can't seem to let go.


I'm pissed that my brother is addicted to oxycontin and I hear him making phone calls to get it because he can't handle withdrawl. I'm pissed at how much it shakes me up.


I'm pissed because my friends basically went to a giant party and had a blast and now have a bunch of inside jokes and I didn't get to be a part of it. Not because they meant to go without me, just because it worked out that way.


I'm pissed because everything feels on the edge of change and yet everything stays the same and it drives me crazy.


I'm pissed because no matter how much exercise I do and how many cupcakes I turn down and replace with rice cakes, I never lose any weight.


I'm pissed that I have to wake up every day to do something I dread.


My mind is just not in a good place right now. I feel weirdly out of the loop and like I'm missing something and honestly right now I wish I could just sleep through the week and block out the world and ignore everyone just for a few days. I need to get my thoughts together.


I need to go back to meditating. I need to get my mind back to a good place, a clear place where I feel happy and normal.




Ugh. It's just a rough patch, but I would really like it to end now.

The Master Plan...

So it's official: for spring break me, Mel, Kris, Sierra, and Mel's friend Allie are all road tripping it down to Florida for a whole week of sun and sand.

We are staying at Mel's aunt's house, who has an underground pool by the way, and we will probably be living off pina coladas and dollar menus, but it's all for the cause!

I honestly think it will be one of the best weeks of my life thus far. The drive down will be split into shifts, or we may possibly stop at Melissa's brother's house in Tennessee, and we will probably be downing 5 hour energy's the entire way there. I'm kind of pulling for the driving in shifts option strictly because I want to get to Florida as soon as possible for the maximum amount of time there. I don't care if we drive for 20 hours and then spend the whole first half of the first day down there passed out in beach chairs. Worth it.

I'm seriously counting on this week to keep me sain for the remainder of the school year.

The only con, and it is truly a con, is that we are leaving on my mom's birthday. This is kind of a big deal to me because I'm definitely a birthday person. I really love celebrating people's birthdays with them. I like making presents, throwing surprise parties, and most of all making them incredibly happy on that one day of the year.

So I'm actually really bummed about that because my mom is pretty much my favorite person.

But besides that, this trip is going to be the freaking BOMB. I'm psyched beyond belief.

Living through the weekend: hookah lounges, taco soup and tall tall boys.

This weekend, on a chart from 1 to 10 would probably fall at about a 7.5.

Because Friday was good, sold some clothes, got pizza, hung out with Bob Barker, played scene it. Yah, we are the coolest.

Saturday was both good and bad. It was good because it was rainy so we had a lazy day where we got cheese bread and grinders and watched movies and were giant couch potatoes.

Then saturday night we went out with Nic and Dann to the hookah lounge on campus. None of us had been there before and it was pretty fantastic. Classic rock, peach flavored smoke, good conversation, and Alice in Wonderland murals.

We left there at about ten and headed back to my house to hang out. It was fun hanging out with them except for two problems, Nic was constantly texting his on again/ off again girlfriend, and Dann was all melancholy half the time and normal half the time.

The other problem with hanging out with dan is that I have a permanent crush on him. And it just irritates me beyond all belief when I hang out with him and remember how cool he is and I'm still to chicken to do anything about it!

So I had that to deal with....

But overall a pretty good night.

Sunday on the other hand was 85% shitty.

We had to spend four hours at the high school cutting out cardboard for the set of the school play with a dull exact-o knife. It was suckish.

But then we went to Renee's and ate tortilla soup, which she stole all the chicken from, and tacos. We also watched monsters inc in her not-so-clean bedroom while piling on top of eachother, laughing hysterically, being super sleepy, and talking nonsense.

Also on sunday night I tried to take a bath for the first time in like 5 years and it ended horribly!

So...there's my weekend. Next weekend is gonna be great because I'm being inducted into the honor society for LCC and then I'm skipping school to go prom dress shopping and out to eat at PF Changs with my mom which sounds dorky, but I'm totally psyched. :]

Snarky

Senioritis has officially taken over my brain.

Graduation and the following summer is all I can think about, all I can talk about, all I care about! Every day I wake up for school it's like dragging myself from a pool of cement, my body wants to stay stuck. Except if I were stuck in a pool of cement my mind would want out, with school every morning my mind wants to stay stuck too and it often justifies another few minutes of sleep.

It's not like school is terribly difficult or strenuous,

it's just terribly boring. Terribly, terribly boring.

It seems like an honest waste of time to spend so many hours there each day doing nothing at all when I could be out with my friends having adventures! And I mean common, I learn things when I'm hanging out with them, I learn....the lessons of life!

The fact that we don't have that many months left of school almost makes it worse. It's like I can almost taste freedom, it's riiiight there, but I can't have it.

Yesterday we skipped fourth and fifth hour for some quality time watching creepy shows at Kristi's house. We also put sprinkles all over Renee's car in the school parking lot and then went to the car wash to clean them all off.

ADVENTUUUURE!

*say in Flapjack voice

Oh well, the moral of the story is that I will be happy to get out of high school because it is slowly sucking out my soul via my eyeballs.