Mad World. Literally.

I'm pissed. I am literally stuck in a permanent pissed off state of mind.
It's not because of any ONE thing. It's jsut a bunch of stuff that I can't seem to let go.


I'm pissed that my brother is addicted to oxycontin and I hear him making phone calls to get it because he can't handle withdrawl. I'm pissed at how much it shakes me up.


I'm pissed because my friends basically went to a giant party and had a blast and now have a bunch of inside jokes and I didn't get to be a part of it. Not because they meant to go without me, just because it worked out that way.


I'm pissed because everything feels on the edge of change and yet everything stays the same and it drives me crazy.


I'm pissed because no matter how much exercise I do and how many cupcakes I turn down and replace with rice cakes, I never lose any weight.


I'm pissed that I have to wake up every day to do something I dread.


My mind is just not in a good place right now. I feel weirdly out of the loop and like I'm missing something and honestly right now I wish I could just sleep through the week and block out the world and ignore everyone just for a few days. I need to get my thoughts together.


I need to go back to meditating. I need to get my mind back to a good place, a clear place where I feel happy and normal.




Ugh. It's just a rough patch, but I would really like it to end now.