Life's Been Good to Me So Far

I have little to none to worry my head over right now.

Sure, right now I should be studying for my LCC exam, but I'm pretty much set on using my fool proof strategy: winging it.

This morning I had an apple pie flavored bagel and a hot cup of coffee. Plus right now I'm listening to a tasty mix of Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. This week has started out b-e-a-utifuly.

In a mere two days, though some may say it's really three but I don't count today, I will be in the car with my best friends travelling south at lightning speeds. Toward beaches, extreme games of hide-n-seek, and long warm nights under the Florida stars.

I have a new leather journal with an owl imprint gracing the cover, strictly for adventurers.

I also have a new book, a new pair of shorts, and about twenty pairs of sunglasses. (I have a thing for sunglasses and fedoras.)

So by this time Friday I'll be squashed into the backseat of an SUV among the pringles and suitcases, on the way to sunshine, sand, and sleeping in.

Shake it up

Hit shuffle on your ipod. What does it bring up?

Is it something popular, like Rihanna?

Is it something classic, like Sinatra?

Or is it someting unique, like Man Man?

The point being that music can have a say in who you are, how you see yourself, how you feel in that exact second.

Today I've been listening to Alkaline Trio. They make me think of Chicago, make me feel like I should be out causing trouble and smoking ciggarettes.

I've also been listening to Bob Dylan. He makes me think of tattoos and Johnny Cash and skipping school.

I love my ipod. I may be getting a little tired of the same few artists but there are those that will never get old.

For my entire life I have had kind of a thing for music that's of the strange variety. Stuff that's off the charts and under the radar that takes a few listens to like.

The bands that wear mismatched suits and write about things like cats in cars and the moon being made from cheese.

Yep, that's my jam.

Livin the dream

I have so many many things I want to do with my life. Sure, my near future goal is to go to college in Mt. Pleasant, but beyond that my expectations stretch for miles.

I have many dream lives.

My dream lives are probably pretty similar to many people's dream lives and that's fine, because they're still allllll mine.

My first dream life is to live in San Diego, California. My dad has lived literally all over the country, he lived in almost all 50 states before he even turned 30, and of all the places he lived San Diego was his favorite. I've heard os many stories from him about the surfing, the music, and the people of California that I can't help but to want to live there. For my dream life in the Sunsine State I want an apartment near the beach and the boardwalk and a sweet pair of rollerblades to skate said boardwalk everyday. The job for my California dream life would be a freelance writer who isn't broke. I would hang out at the beach all day writing and then meet up with friends for surfing, and at night we would circle around roaring bonfires on the shore.

Then there's my New York/ Chicago dream life.

I love Chicago as a city. I've been there about five times and I love the vibe of everything. I love the people, the food, and the culture. I haven't been to the big apple yet. However, I do have plans to venture there this coming summer.

For my city dream life I would have a hip office job designing and writing for a creative magazine. One of those offices where it's super chilled out and everyone is friends with everyone. I would have a loft apartment with a gorgeous view of the skyline. This apartment would have to be close to Central Park, or Millenium Park for Chi-town. This dream life could also include a cute, indy vibed boyfriend. Said boyfriend could take me out for sweet vegetarian food and punk rock shows orrrr he could just stay in with me and watch Quentin Tarantino movies while eating take out chinese!

So these are just two of my many various alternate realitys. I have others, they range from Seattle to South Carolina. But for now I guess I'll just focus on next year instead of the next decade. :]

Mad World. Literally.

I'm pissed. I am literally stuck in a permanent pissed off state of mind.
It's not because of any ONE thing. It's jsut a bunch of stuff that I can't seem to let go.


I'm pissed that my brother is addicted to oxycontin and I hear him making phone calls to get it because he can't handle withdrawl. I'm pissed at how much it shakes me up.


I'm pissed because my friends basically went to a giant party and had a blast and now have a bunch of inside jokes and I didn't get to be a part of it. Not because they meant to go without me, just because it worked out that way.


I'm pissed because everything feels on the edge of change and yet everything stays the same and it drives me crazy.


I'm pissed because no matter how much exercise I do and how many cupcakes I turn down and replace with rice cakes, I never lose any weight.


I'm pissed that I have to wake up every day to do something I dread.


My mind is just not in a good place right now. I feel weirdly out of the loop and like I'm missing something and honestly right now I wish I could just sleep through the week and block out the world and ignore everyone just for a few days. I need to get my thoughts together.


I need to go back to meditating. I need to get my mind back to a good place, a clear place where I feel happy and normal.




Ugh. It's just a rough patch, but I would really like it to end now.

The Master Plan...

So it's official: for spring break me, Mel, Kris, Sierra, and Mel's friend Allie are all road tripping it down to Florida for a whole week of sun and sand.

We are staying at Mel's aunt's house, who has an underground pool by the way, and we will probably be living off pina coladas and dollar menus, but it's all for the cause!

I honestly think it will be one of the best weeks of my life thus far. The drive down will be split into shifts, or we may possibly stop at Melissa's brother's house in Tennessee, and we will probably be downing 5 hour energy's the entire way there. I'm kind of pulling for the driving in shifts option strictly because I want to get to Florida as soon as possible for the maximum amount of time there. I don't care if we drive for 20 hours and then spend the whole first half of the first day down there passed out in beach chairs. Worth it.

I'm seriously counting on this week to keep me sain for the remainder of the school year.

The only con, and it is truly a con, is that we are leaving on my mom's birthday. This is kind of a big deal to me because I'm definitely a birthday person. I really love celebrating people's birthdays with them. I like making presents, throwing surprise parties, and most of all making them incredibly happy on that one day of the year.

So I'm actually really bummed about that because my mom is pretty much my favorite person.

But besides that, this trip is going to be the freaking BOMB. I'm psyched beyond belief.

Living through the weekend: hookah lounges, taco soup and tall tall boys.

This weekend, on a chart from 1 to 10 would probably fall at about a 7.5.

Because Friday was good, sold some clothes, got pizza, hung out with Bob Barker, played scene it. Yah, we are the coolest.

Saturday was both good and bad. It was good because it was rainy so we had a lazy day where we got cheese bread and grinders and watched movies and were giant couch potatoes.

Then saturday night we went out with Nic and Dann to the hookah lounge on campus. None of us had been there before and it was pretty fantastic. Classic rock, peach flavored smoke, good conversation, and Alice in Wonderland murals.

We left there at about ten and headed back to my house to hang out. It was fun hanging out with them except for two problems, Nic was constantly texting his on again/ off again girlfriend, and Dann was all melancholy half the time and normal half the time.

The other problem with hanging out with dan is that I have a permanent crush on him. And it just irritates me beyond all belief when I hang out with him and remember how cool he is and I'm still to chicken to do anything about it!

So I had that to deal with....

But overall a pretty good night.

Sunday on the other hand was 85% shitty.

We had to spend four hours at the high school cutting out cardboard for the set of the school play with a dull exact-o knife. It was suckish.

But then we went to Renee's and ate tortilla soup, which she stole all the chicken from, and tacos. We also watched monsters inc in her not-so-clean bedroom while piling on top of eachother, laughing hysterically, being super sleepy, and talking nonsense.

Also on sunday night I tried to take a bath for the first time in like 5 years and it ended horribly!

So...there's my weekend. Next weekend is gonna be great because I'm being inducted into the honor society for LCC and then I'm skipping school to go prom dress shopping and out to eat at PF Changs with my mom which sounds dorky, but I'm totally psyched. :]

Snarky

Senioritis has officially taken over my brain.

Graduation and the following summer is all I can think about, all I can talk about, all I care about! Every day I wake up for school it's like dragging myself from a pool of cement, my body wants to stay stuck. Except if I were stuck in a pool of cement my mind would want out, with school every morning my mind wants to stay stuck too and it often justifies another few minutes of sleep.

It's not like school is terribly difficult or strenuous,

it's just terribly boring. Terribly, terribly boring.

It seems like an honest waste of time to spend so many hours there each day doing nothing at all when I could be out with my friends having adventures! And I mean common, I learn things when I'm hanging out with them, I learn....the lessons of life!

The fact that we don't have that many months left of school almost makes it worse. It's like I can almost taste freedom, it's riiiight there, but I can't have it.

Yesterday we skipped fourth and fifth hour for some quality time watching creepy shows at Kristi's house. We also put sprinkles all over Renee's car in the school parking lot and then went to the car wash to clean them all off.

ADVENTUUUURE!

*say in Flapjack voice

Oh well, the moral of the story is that I will be happy to get out of high school because it is slowly sucking out my soul via my eyeballs.

Mere Minutes

3 months and 17 days. That's how long I have until I graduate high school for good.

Never to return.

4 months and 3 days. That's how long I have to wait for Bliss to get here.

5 months and 7 days. That's how long until I leave for college.

Pack up all my belongings and drive an hour and a half. Move in with a stranger...actually three strangers. Not see my mom's face everyday, not hang out with my best friends of 7 years everyday. Eat cafeteria food instead of homecooked health food. Start classes that have more than 100 kids in each one. Live in a room the size of a shoebox. Go to college parties...intimidating college parties. Find my way around a huge college campus.

Yup, just 5 months and 7 days until my life changes forever.

I can't even believe I'm going to be graduating high school forever in matter of mere months.

It's so weird to think about the fact that I've been in the same type of school for the last six years of my life, if you count middle school that is, and in May I will be leaving it behind forever.

I don't think I will particularly miss high school itsself. I don't like having the same classes every day, day after day, having to wake up at 6 A.M. each morning just to sit in run down classrooms and do things I've already done for four years.

I do think I will miss a lot of other things about my life right now. Like going straight to my house after school to hang out and laugh and cook and make blanket forts with my friends. Or talking to my mom at night about my day and her day and life in general. Or that feeling of bubbly happiness that I get when my friends and I start laughing so hard about something that we literally can't stop. Or when Kristi snorts because she's laughing so hard. Or when Renee says the most random thing imaginable and it's so out of the blue that it makes me laugh so hard I almost pee. Or when Mel makes up random ass songs.

Yah there is definetely a long list of things that I'm going to miss when I move out. But hopefully there will be a new list of things that I fall in love with when I'm away at school.

Hot Stuff

Last night at dinner,

for some reason,

the conversation turned

to having a crush on a teacher.

Everyone at the table admitted to it, that includes me.

Yes, it's true! I have a GIANT crush on my psychology teacher, Mr. Zubal. I've had said crush since the first time I had a class with him actually. He isn't the typical super stud that you would think an 18 year old girl would have a crush on. He's bald and wears glasses actually.

However! He has an amazing kind smile, he's incredibly intelligent, and he has a good sense of humor.

Honestly, I would rather have all of those things to crush on then a good looking guy whos dull and boring.
So now that you know about my wonderful teacher crush, I will update you on my weekend.

Friday was a very good night, in the way that nights are good for me and my friends. We spent a good two hours in the hot tub laughing REALLY loudly and trying to give eachother nicknames that involve disney characters. Also, there was a video made of Renee and Kristi dancing and singing to that song from 'The Aristocats' where they sing about Thomas O' Mally, the alley cat.

We also indulged in some not so moral behavior and I tweeted some things I wish I could take back.

Saturday was a kick ass day as well. Me and Kristi decided we were gonna go for a bike ride, which we did. We rode to the YMCA and Kristi jumped a deadly 9 inch curb and I had to struggle to get up on my giant sized bike.
Then we went into Lansing to apply for jobs, but Target wasn't hiring and we are both pretty damn lazy so we went and got Wendy's then came back to my house.

We proceded to get all cute and adorable because we were going to see Alice In Wonderland, which was amazing, with a couple guys we've known forever.

What we didn't think about was that Dann's car didn't exactly seat six comfortably so Kristi ended up draping herself over all three of us in the backseat.

When we got back we played a nice wholesome game of Apples to Apples and then watched Mystery Science Theater and went to bed.
Sunday we pretty much killed times by going to get coffee at Biggbys, I am sticking to my diet so I got no whipped cream and fat free milk, boo. And we hit up a thrift store and found some pretty interesting things there too.

Overall this weekend was pretty bad ass, and to top it all off I don't even have to come to school tomorrow!

Yup, this final trimester of senior year is starting out to be a good one!

Breathe Owl Breathe

In a lot of my blogs I talk about a festival called Blissfest.

This a festival in nothern Michigan where a bunch of hippies, and normal people too, get together for three days of music, dancing, food, and an incredible sense of calm.

This year will be my...umm...sixth year? Wow. Yah, my sixth year going.

This festival is the highlight of my summer, actually, the highlight of my whole year.

I just get this indescribable feeling of happiness and serenity when I'm sitting on a blanket in front of the main stage with my friends. Folk music drifting to my ears and the smell of vegetarian nachos making my stomach growl.

This festival gives me a greater appreciation of nature, of people, of everything.

Especially the field that extends into the back forty. It's one of my favorite places on Earth. If not my very favorite.

If I could live in that field, I would.

Even on the inevitable day of rain we get each year that field is the happiest place in the world for me.

O.K. so here's a breakdown of what goes on every second weekend in July when we make the trip to Bliss.

We wake up around 6 a.m. and head out for McDonalds to get coffee and breakfast. Oh, sidebar, we have to leave so early because there's a giant line of traffic that lines up outside the gates waiting to get in. The earlier you get there, the better camp site you get.

So we drive north for about three and a half hours listening to Bright Eyes and Jason Mraz and rolling the windows down.

We make the occasional stop to pee and buy junk food and pop.

By the time we see the tell-tale giant plaster chicken in the town right next to the field where Bliss is held, we are all psyched.

We drive another fifteen miles or so down the dirt road branching off from the giant chicken town and finally arrive at either the gate or the line of traffic, depending on what time we arrive.

We scour for a campsite that's close to the dreaded porta potties as well as close to the main stage.

We then proceed to sweat in the hot sun and set up our tents in the wheat that we attempt to smush down by rolling on it and stomping it into submission. It never works though, every night we still feel that prickly grass poking us through our sleeping bags.

After we get set up we proceed to wander down to the stage to see if we can get a volunteer spot or we just stake out a place in shade to watch music from.

The rest of the weekend is spent dancing and drumming in the Drum Kiva, eating vegan and vegetarian concoctions, listening to fantastic mellow bands, buying hemp from vendors, and wandering the woods at night to find new friends and make new memories.

I'm just saying right now that if you've never been to this, put it on you bucket list. Because it will be one of the best things you will ever experience.

If I only understood the lyrics...

So I

downloaded a few songs in French.

Why?...

Why not?

They're fun and upbeat and make me think of breezy wheatfields in warm daylight.

Tonight I'm, hopefully, going to a 'pre orientation-orientation' for college in Lansing.

I say hopefully because I was supposed to RSVP a couple

weeks ago and I never did

So I just called last night and left a message along the lines of "uhh yah I'm going and I'm bringing two people...O.K. bye."

So who knows how that will go...

Oh, update on the prom dress situation.

I went to the dress shop I was talking about a while ago and it was perfect.

Everything was vintage and gorgeous and in my price range. I fell in love with the place.

I'm going back in a couple of weeks to see the new stuff

the owner said they're getting in for spring.

My dad is the one buying my prom dress

this year so he's insisting on venturing out into the world to shop with me.

I don't think he realized the gravity of the beast that is prom dress shopping at first because the very first place we went was the boutique in Old Town.

Next we went to a typical bridal shop where everything is shoved together and girls are ripping through things and every dress is bedazzled beyond recognition. Most of them are incredibly revealing in ways you wouldn't even think o,f and they are all priced outrageously. He tried to play it cool but I think inside he was having a fit. Basically, these dresses are not my style at all.

My style is simple. Vintage. Unique. I don't want or need a sparkly midriff flashing floor length monstrosity. I just never pictured myself in something like that.

Last year my dress was pretty much that, and I regret it. I'm to short for floor length and to weird for buying things at JC Penny. I have pretty much come to accept that.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that this year I will buy a short vintage beauty and make everyone at prom wonder why they spent 300 bucks on something three other people have.

Other than that, this week is finals.

Really that isn't saying much though because I'm taking all computer classes with extra easy exams or no exams at all.

Niiiice.